Advice Number 1: Never peel potatoes in a bad mood.

I was doing that awhile back and fortunately the story does not have a tragic bloody ending…but it could have…so never peal potatoes in a bad mood.

This made me think about words said in the heat of the moment. Or about taking risk to say things to someone you care about.

This is one post that I really hope to get a lot of feedback from.

I guess I should start this out as to what happened to me yesterday to put me in a bad mood, and make me react in the heat of the moment. Hmmmm…..where do I start? Well…I was having a One Tree Hill marathon (and I am way behind. I am only on season four. So if these things I am about to share are not true right now DO NOT TELL ME!!!) Peyton and Lucas have been friends and/or a couple since the beginning of season one when it shows his crush/obsession/lust whatever for her. Like any good drama…this couple (whether as friends or lovers) has its shares of ups and downs. But at the point I am watching it, they have just been close friends for awhile now, but she has fallen in love with him; someone tells her to take a risk and tell him how you feel. It worked out for them…but hey…that’s just Hollywood

Question Number 1: Do you think that is good advice? Take a risk and lay it on the line.

Now…I have been home watching this marathon of drama and need to get out of the house because I am not in the best of moods.

Advice Number 2: Never have a drama marathon when you already have a lot on your mind and you are already in a not so good mood.

So I go to Barns and Noble, and I am trying to cheer myself up by working on my blog, and looking for agents to send my book off to, and just focus on my dreams as a writer not on my desires to have a man hold me in his arms all night in my lonely apartment. So…out of no where comes this good looking man and says I can come sit with him and share his outlet to plug up my laptop if I need to.

Advice Number 3: For the single ladies….ALWAYS CHECK FOR THE RING FIRST!!! Because apparently men seem to forget it sometimes…

So we start chatting….(now if you are that guy, since I did tell you about my blog, and if you do read this…first of all…hey you made the cut you should be honored to get into my blog…LOL….second of all this is just all in good fun really I know that you/most men are not really like that….third of all, one of my guy friends did try to stick up for you, but then still said I should add this to my blog. So, sorry, this is just my journal from my point of view). Anyways, we were chatting and I was cheering up….let’s just put it that way…but of course somewhere in the mist of our conversation it came out that he had a wife and kids.

Ok, have you ever been driving somewhere and you were late to something, and you hit every red light in town, and get behind someone that could be driving Mrs. Daisy?? And you are like, I sooooo don’t need this right now. That was like my day yesterday.
Yeah…So, I finally was aware of the ring and thought. SERIOUSLY….LIFE IS SOOOOO NOT FUNNY! REALLY DID NOT NEED THIS TODAY! THIS SUCKS!

Advice Number 4: Always learn to laugh off moments like this!

So, I move on to vent to one of my good friends, and in this email while I am venting I say a lot of things I should not have said that could have messed things up for what special thing we had….I am happy to say we have a great friendship and it did not…but it was a little rough for a short time as he had to deal with my pathetic woman drama.

Question Number 2: Is saying things in the heat of the moment a good thing or a bad thing?

What if it took that heated moment to bring out the truth (even if it didn’t come out in the right way) to get things out in the open….then isn’t it a good thing?

What if it tears apart something beautiful that you had with someone and you or both of you end up crushed?

We do this a lot in relationships….say things in the mist of a mess. Most the time we go back and say, “I didn’t mean it”.

Question Number 3: But if it is on our mind or in our heart…isn’t it better to get it out?

Question Number 4: Even if the response devastates you…even if it makes you feel unlovable? Should you risk you heart and share how you really feel?

Question Number 5: Is living in a dream world unhealthy?

I know the answer to that one…yes it very much can be dangerous to walk around with your head in the clouds…because when the enormous 747 of truth plows right through you…IT HURTS. I am a dreamer. I have always thought my over-active/hopeful/dreamy mind was a good thing…today I am not so sure…let’s focus on an easier example of why this is not good, an example not having to do with love (even though that is what this blog is about). I want to be a writer…that is a big dream. Do I need to get my head out of fairy tale world and bring in back down to reality and focus on finding a way to feed my two kids not my fantasies?

Question Number 5: Do we give up on our dreams or strive for them?

What if our dream is finding someone who makes me laugh and loves me and will fly me to Italy someday soon? LOL….see….my head is always in the clouds. I guess because the reality is…I have spent most my life feeling unlovable. And for some reason the ugly root of insecurity has paraded itself right back into my brain this weekend.

Thankfully my God is a good gardener and is digging up that root (again...thought I was done with that battle...just thankful I know a God bigger than the battle that puts the fight back in me just when I need it). I am just glad He does not get weary of weeding….

Advice Number 4: If you are battling insecurity…hand over the spade to God and let him dig it out NOW! It is a terrible thing that can tear apart a life that has a purpose….God created you wonderful and He has a plan for you!



I drove home from a friend’s house last night with my answers to these questions.

1. Yes! Take risk…that is living life! But…no matter what the outcome you have to stand on this truth: YOU ARE A STRONG CONFIDENT CHILD OF GOD!



Second of all: I believe in a relationship you must always be open and honest with the one you love…if they love you back it will always work out.

Lastly, never stop dreaming, but just do it with your feet firmly planted on the solid rock of Christ and seek after His will first.

Relationships (whether friends/dating/marriage) can be messy, but they can also be truly amazing. Enjoy each moment.

A quote from One Tree Hills that stuck with me during that marathon was this:

“Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends. In the feeling you get from making someone’s dreams come true. Or when the promise of hope renewed.”

Be joyful and hopeful. God is good and He has it all under control!

YOUR TURN…PLEASE SHARE!

Another Weekend...

I am still reading through eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert, wishing I had more time to just sit and read all the way through it, I love to read and don’t like having to keep picking up a book for only ten minutes here and there, I just want to finish it and enjoy it. Although this book has so much to offer in just ten minutes of reading, I guess it is not too bad to read it this way.

Anyways, I was just reading about her trip to Venice for the weekend. She was writing about a friend of hers coming to meet her in the most romantic city on earth, “I could just picture myself all alone, in the butt end of a gondola, getting dragged through the mist by a crooning gondolier as I…read in a magazine? It’s a sad image, rather like the idea of humping up a hill all by yourself on a bicycle-built-for-two.” I love her vivid, fun depiction of things; this book is easily enjoyable. But… ahhh Venice…I dream of being in Venice (in all of Italy) just about as often as I dream about being in the strong arms of Mr. Right. Well, I just down right dream of being in Venice with that man…someday, yes someday!

Right now…I just have another lonely weekend here in Greenville, NC to look forward to.

I am very much trying to find the positive in things…I have been writing about mindsets and making a choice to think of things in a positive way, and to accept God’s peace, and to let go of all anxieties…so…I thought let me list some fun, positive things I can do/enjoy about this lonely weekend:

1. I can go to the beach…and I can admire ALL that the beach has to offer without cold glares from a mate….if ya get what I mean…if not here let me just say it…sexy, shirtless, tan men walking by just for my viewing pleasure. Oh…sorry…I meant I can enjoy the peace and quiet of digging my bare feet in the sand, and watch the sun display a bold variety of pastels as it sets over the horizon of the vast ocean waters.
2. I can go shopping and buy all the flip flops I want without anyone talking to me about a budget and bills.
3. I can go to Olive Garden and order all the carbs I want without someone telling me to watch my weight!
4. I can have a chick flick marathon and cry if I want to without the criticism of a man.
5. Hmmm…OK…I really need to be able to come up with more than four before pausing and wishing I had someone to walk hand-n-hand with at the beach, to cuddle with when I cry over the dramatic scenes, or to lay wrapped in each other’s arms at night and talk about someday going to Italy….hmmmm….
6. I can actually finish this book I am reading.
7. I can sit and watch the food network channel all weekend, which only makes me hungry and want to pig out on whatever I can find in the kitchen that does not even compare to the delicacies being prepared before me on the screen.
8. Then I can just dance off all I ate with wild random dancing since there is no one around to judge me…lol.
9. Gotta at least get to ten here….although technically I am only on eight here because number five doesn’t count…but whose counting…unless you are bored and lonely like me while you are reading this….lol. I can have a rock show as I strengthen my talents at guitar hero and do endless encores.
10. I can go see Toy Story 3 in hopes that the new Ken doll takes his shirt of….oh wait….I have been seeing way too much of a shirtless, sculpted Jacob Black…LOL.

Yeah…good times for me this weekend 

Seriously….the point is: I am not alone…I am independent. I can still enjoy life abundantly, and focus on all that God want for me in my life. I can still walk around with my head held high and a smile on my face. I do not need a man. I would like to have one, but I do not need a man. God is my completion; my all in all….with Him I have strength to face anything…even another lonely weekend.

Prince Charming & Pop Cans

Now...first of all let me clear something up for my southern friends, pop is what YA'LL call SODA. LOL.

Now I was thinking...scary I know...and it is even scarier when I am home alone with no boys and nothing to do...my mind really goes crazy in the silence. LOL.

I was thinking about what it would actually be like to be married again. My mind constantly is in fairy-tale mode I think, and today I am beginning to worry what will it be like when things get changed to the the reality T.V. show channel?

Will it be all romance, and fire, and sweeping me off my feet? No..it will probably be a lot of sweeping that is for sure...sweeping up after a man's mess...that is not what I have in mind for a marriage...lol.

No, really...I am worried about meeting someone at this age; see I think when you get married young you have all that time to learn and grow together...see I am afraid because I know more about what I want now, and what I don't want, and I won't be able to find that.

Will prince charming come along, marry me, and then start leaving pop cans all over the house...that would seriously annoy me. I mean, I am in my thirties so he should be a grown man...well unless I do the cougar thing and marry Taylor Lautner or Zac Efron...OH YEAH! But, anyways...where was I? Sorry...got a little sidetracked on those thoughts for a minute...yes. Seriously, you're a grown man, pick up the pop cans already...is what I'd be sayin'. Now, see I don't have too many annoying things that anyone has to worry about...ha ha ha....except for the humming. I love to hum (and sing a lot) but I, according to my wonderful friends that I play Cranium with...I cannot hum very well...so I guess someone would just have to deal with that...I do make a lot of noises...and NO my lovely friends and family who know me well, this is not where you insert your comments!

In all seriousness...I am just worried about meeting someone and coming together and working through differences at my age in life...

And, my single friends and I talk about this a lot...I don't want to settle...I mean I settled the first time... the only thing my ex-husband had on my list of requirements for a husband was--a heartbeat. He was not a christian...I learned the hard way what I already knew and somehow thought would change...NEVER MARRY SOMEONE WITHOUT THE SAME FAITH AS YOU!! But I know what I want now. And what I deserve. I want a man of God. A man who loves God and has a personal relationship with Jesus. And a man that will love my boys like his own. Those two things I will not settle on. Now...a man that can sing and play guitar, and who will take me to Italy; that would be a major make me happy bonus!

I just have all these fears about meeting someone and marriage. Will I fall too fast for the wrong one out of loneliness and desperation? I guess you could read my list of "You Know You're Lonely If:" and you may see you need to pray with me on that one...lol...

What will it be like with him and my boys? How will I feel when he disciplines them?
Will he lay awake with me late and talk and laugh and enjoy our quiet time together like I want?
Will it feel amazing in his arms like I have been longing for?
Will we be able to get through bad days at work?
God, please, please will the sex be amazing? Sorry...had to throw that in there...
Will he make me laugh a lot? I love to laugh and so do my boys and I want laughter to always fill our home.
Will we really be happy? The sad reality is that I see far too many marriages that are being destroyed by the Devil daily and I am tired of it!! That is one thing that I do often when I get really lonely....I take all my emotions and turn it to good and pray for the marriages of those I love to be restored to a marriage the way God intended!! I am believing in Jesus name for love, passion, joy, and peace to be restored in all the marriages of those I know! For laughter and passion to be in the eyes of each spouse as they look lovingly into the eyes of their mate. For communication to always be open and honest and positive...even in hard times, may they always uplift and encourage each other! And of course...may the passion always be hot! Marriage was created by God an may God be in the center of all marriages again.

Guess I have a lot on my mind....
But as I was pondering upon all the what-if's of what it will be like...the verse that I have at the top of this blog came to mind. "BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING......AND THE PEACE OF GOD WILL GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND IN CHRIST JESUS"
Amen and thank you God because I know bottom line...in spite of my pop can prince charming fears....it will all be amazing if I wait on You and all you have for me.
And...I believe it is actually a great thing that I do know what I want. Knowing that will help me not to settle this time. Also having the confidence that God has been establishing in my life over these last six years will allow me not only to look for all God has to offer, but to actually accept it and know that I am His child and worthy of His abundant blessings. God is good. His Prince Charming will be far more than my over-active mind could ever imagine...and we will live happily ever after.