fallen performance

This is an excerpt from the new book I am reading, eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert: "David and I met because he was performing in a play based on short stories I'd written. He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

Hmmmm....this quickly caught my attention as I felt I needed to be standing before a judge saying "guilty...guilty as charged".

I, having a very, very overactive mind...can create these wonderful, romantic daydreams that I daily beg God to create into a reality show instead of beyond G rated fairy tales...yet, on the other hand, I very much fear the horror story that may actually come of dating someone when they fail to live up to the fairy tale.

Like Julia Roberts' character, Vivian, in Pretty Woman says when the handsome Edward ask, "What do you want?" she replies, "I want the fairy tale."

Amen honey...so do I...but can it really happen...can you really find the passionate, amazing love that is portrayed in those movies that make millions, and in my daydreams that keep me occupied on lonely weekends...really?? Is it really out there?? Because I am 32 years old and have yet to see too many examples of a genuine love story.

Again...I understand realities...but ya know what...then again, I really don't...why can't love surpass all...even in the mist of turmoil you should be able to shine with love that overflows from your life...love that keeps the fire alive in relationships...love that fights against all odds to rise above...love that keeps you staring lovingly into the eyes of the same person after 50 years of a blessed marriage.

I mean the only fighting I want to have in my marriage is like the old Garth Brooks' song says, "sometimes we fight just so we can make up!" Is that too much to ask??

I want sex to never stop simmering, I want communication to never become a mass of confusion, I want vacations together to never lose their vitality, I want romance and thoughtfulness to stay realities throughout all the days of our marriage...

Have these long, lonely years of pathetic dreams just been setting me up for a fallen performance?

Yet...my hope still rest in my Heavenly Father and all that He longs to bless me with...because His word promises that He wants to bless me with far more than I can ever imagine...wow...well...bring it on God!! Because if you can top my imagination...hmmmmm...lol.

Thank you Lord...and I lay it all at your feet...all my dreams and desires...I let it go, and will serve You while I wait.